Burn out

Wow, I guess it has been awhile since I posted. I guess I got all caught up in the Facebook and Farmville thing that I neglected my blog. I see I haven't posted since just before Thanksgiving and the next post was from my bro..thank you. Well, the Italy trip went fine, I guess. We worked 6am-6pm M-F and worked a few hours on the Saturday we were there. I was able to go to Verona and sightsee. Was able to see the House of Juliet. If you have seen LETTERS TO JULIET, it is very similar, but they do not hang letters on the wall. Instead, there are two walls that people have signed. I also went to Venice. Although both places I experienced in the evening. The sun was setting at 4:30 while I was there and both places we got there around that time. It was still nice to see. They have Christmas Markets, which is where the townfolk basically go to the streets and set up booths to sell items that are handmade or that tourists would like to buy. No, I did not do the gondola as they wanted 60 Euros to ride it which comes out to nearly $100. I'd rather walk, thank you.

I also experienced some real Italian Food. My first dish was the Lasagna. I think I like the Americanized lasagna better. It was good, but just small portioned for what I paid. Pizzas, spectacular. They use a thin crust and their cheese is magnificent. The only thing is if you ask for sausage, it tastes like bologna and looks like pepperoni. Nonetheless, is was still good and priced fairly. The last dish I had, can't remember the name of it, but it had like rigatoni noodles, sauce, and meat. It was a huge plate with melted cheese on it and cost really low. I was surprised I was able to eat it all, but it was great.

Next year I will be trying to go to Korea. Haven't been there yet, but want to experience it. If I can't do that, I will try Japan. If I can't do either, I may just go back to Germany. I love it there.

I also just found out yesterday that my packet is going to the board later this month for direct commissioning to become an officer. Originally I was told last month I would not make this board and would have to wait until May because I was waiting on a document. I just received it last week and turned it in and was called last night saying I will make this board. I just won't find out the results until March-April timeframe. Wish me luck.

Christmas and New Years went fine. Yes, I did drink on New Years. I bought an 18 pack and only drank 13. The next day, I threw the remaining in the trash and decided I'm done. Hard alcohol just makes me sick and stupid and beer takes too long and makes me spend money. So I may drink occassionally, but not like I used to.

That wraps it up for now. Got school work to get back to. Informal Logic began yesterday and I only have 10 more classes to go after this one. I am scheduled to graduate with my Bachelor's in Feb 2012.

It's Alive!

It's been too damn quiet over here lately, so I will post some drivel for those that actually read this blog. Stuman has been away to Italy as part of his US Army Reserves duty, but is due home any day now. Though, he may prefer to stay there.... makes me wonder if it is cold there this time of year, too....

Anyways, look forward to hearing everything he can tell us about his trip. All that boring stuff that he tells his wife. Not that good stuff that happened, because he would probably get in trouble if she knew.

The past couple years or so, Stuman has been to Germany a few times, and usually brings me back a nice authentic stein. He called me up about a day before leaving for Italy, asking what I would like. I told him a few times, he doesn't have to get me anything, but he kept demanding he wants to get something. He felt Italy probably would not have steins. I mentioned more than likely not, as they are a wine country, and whatever you get, don't make it wine or wine-type glasses. I can't stand that stuff. I think it came down to whatever he wanted to get that he thought I would like.

Last year (well, I think it was last year - maybe the one before) it was from Germany, and was a stein, plus a nice bright orange shirt that read something about Oktoberfest (where 125,000 barrels of beer are drank) or something like that. I am too lazy to go to the dresser and look. Sis got a belt, like a shotgun shell one, that instead of shells, held the airline-sized bottles of German liquors. It was empty shortly through the year.

Welp, I should mosey back over to my place. Like I said, he'll be home anytime now, and will hopefully have pictures too.

PeacE

yet another hurdle...

Don't know what it is, but I am sure it is coming. I had my credit pulled and found out I am only 3 points away from qualifying for a house. So I am working with a credit clean up business to improve it drastically as the higher my score is, the less I pay for interest. Finished my last class with a C. It was math. It wasn't hard, but the hard part was trying to focus on the class while my wife was hospitalized the whole time. I could have had an A if I did the four papers that were due, but I didn't do them. I guess I did just enough to pass it so I wouldn't have to withdraw or pay the money back. There goes that good GPA. Oh, well, I can always opt to retake it at my own expense before I graduate, but the GPA really doesn't matter to me as much as the actual diploma.

Getting ready for my trip to Italy coming up real soon. Getting pretty excited about it as well. Work has been going well and there has been a lot of improvement with the wife since she has been out. The oldest is doing better as well and is currently being home schooled. We are heading up to the FIL's for Thanksgiving, but it will be a short trip. Enough to get out of the city and maybe see some snow.

Somehow we have another dog. It looks to be a 3-4 month old golden retriever. My wife went to get my daughter at the bus stop and found it. No collar or anything. So they posted found dog posters around the neighborhood, but heard nothing yet. Hoping we don't get stuck with it. Gotta have the family stop picking up strays...lol.

Watched The Christmas Blessing which is the sequel to Christmas Shoes. It was pretty good. Also watched Woke Up Dead with John Heder...not that good. Charlie St. Cloud with Zac Efron was pretty good. Scott Pilgrim VS. The World looked like someone was on acid when they made the movie. That's what I have been watching this weekend. Still have The Last Airbender to watch. Blockbuster has changed their policy from 5 to 3 days, but not their price. Wondering if I should still continue to go there. I hate red box because sometimes I get a movie and don't watch it for a few days. I don't like Netflix or Blockbuster online because I don't like automatic withdrawals from my account. I know, nothing makes me happy. Well, that's all I got for now.

Yes, I am still alive

This has been the worst month this year (October). As my wife was in and out of the hospital from 30 Sep up until last Friday. She is doing better since she has been out. Took the oldest to the psychiatrist and we are still waiting on a FINAL DIAGNOSIS, but it is believed that he has Autism, maybe even Aspergers. He is currently on medication which actually has helped his behavior quite a bit.

This Thanksgiving, we will be going up North to the FIL's as we normally do from time to time. Looking forward to getting out of town and hopefully relaxing a bit. My math class will end next Monday, but don't think I will finish as well as all my other classes. I have 4 assignments I am behind on since I haven't had time to do them with everything going on this past month. He is giving me until Monday night to turn them in with no deductions and they are only about 1-2 pages each, so it is not that overwhelming, but still.

Medical bills over these last couple of months have me overwhelmed. We applied for SSI for my wife and was denied. They say I make $400 too much per month, but they go by gross income and do not include bills. Still waiting on a determination from ahccs. My personal medical sucks as it is a $3000 deductible. I am in the process of trying to change it right now to benefit us later. The medication and doctor visits alone cost me over $1000 a month for both the wife and the oldest. I just need to win the lottery.

Next month, I head off to Italy for two weeks. It is a much needed vacation even though it is still a work trip. Don't know what we are doing for New Years yet, but I am debating on heading out of town just to get away and not be around a bunch of drunk and crazy people. Just don't know what I am going to do over the next couple of months, but hopefully, everything will work out.

Friday?...where did my days go?

I can't believe it is already Friday. I just lost track of days this week with everything going on. Took Monday off because the kids were out of school. tuesday wife was supposed to get out, but didn't get out until Wednesday. Thursday morning, 2am took her to er because she had some bacterial infection in the intestines. Took her to the dr later that evening for her appointment after being released from the hospital. Her meds from the last two days have totaled over $300 dollars. The new medication she is on is expensive and she is court ordered to take for a year. I think i need to change my insurance company next month.

The oldest had a visit from the school psychologist yesterday and was evaluated. The pshycologist was impressed and stated that he was above average for his age and didn't understand why he wasn't applying himself and going to school. So we are going to try to work on doing homeschool for him for a little bit and maybe get him into going back to school. We're still not sure what his problem is, but at least now I know it's not that he doesn't understand it or have a learning disability. It seems to me it is either anxiety or behavioral.

This math class I am in now, when I looked at the book before it started looked hard, but as I am in week 2, it's not so bad. I guess I will have to see as it continues. 3 more weeks to go and then I have a long break. i was supposed to start my next class Nov 16, but I asked to put it off until Jan because the last couple of weeks of that class, I will be out of the country and no internet access. So, might as well start over in Jan. It will of course push back my graduation date, but I want to apply myself and get good grades and not settle for a grade just to graduate faster. That is why I am only taking one class at a time instead of more.

Well, I reckon that is it for now.

Hopefully, the end is near

So, today is Day 19 of my wife being hospitalized and me playing all the roles in the household. Playing my usual roles of the father, the provider, the disciplinarian, I have also added mother, launderer, cook, taxi driver, maid, servant, etc...I am waiting to hear back from the hospital today, but she may be released tomorrow or Wednesday and I am so looking forward to it. These last three weeks have just torn me apart. I had gone 10 days without drinking until I cracked and that was 6 days after she was hospitalized. I am currently on Day 2 now. My birthday was last Saturday and the last night I drank. I am just getting too old to do it anymore.

School is still going well even with my new involvement with Facebook and especially Farmville. I finished up my History class last week with another A and began a math class. I have no idea what this class is, but it does involve numbers and letters and symbols I have never seen before. I finished all the way up to pre-calculus/trigonometry in high School and have never seen this stuff. So we will see how it goes. Today finishes week 1 and I should have the first week's grades in a few days.

Well, that is all I have been occupied with over the last 3 weeks. Don't have much else to talk about in my non-exciting life. I know a few years ago, it used to be more exciting, but then I moved and got away from a lot of people. Now I have been settling down over the last two years.

some good news

Even though I have been going through over a week and a half of hell, I did have some good news this week. First, I found out I made the Dean's list again for the summer. I currently have a GPA of 3.97 and 40 credits to go. Next, I was accepted into the Golden Key International Honor Society at my university's chapter, which is only offered to the top 15% of the students. I guess it is a big deal, but whatever. Last, I went in front of the first of two boards yesterday for Direct Commission. Found out today, I passed and will be going to the next board in Feb. If I pass that one, I will be an officer by summer time next year.

My Bad

So I have been neglecting this page a bit. Not like what I write should be of that much importance to people. Everyone should have a life and only a few people know about this page and check on it. This is just a place for me to vent.

So the wife ended up in the hospital last thursday as she went into psychosis again. It was about due as she usually goes about every 2-3 years. My oldest son has been giving me problems as well since the beginning of the school year. He has been refusing to go to school, threatening to run away, harm himself, harm others. He has had the police called on him twice, sent to the hospital twice, and is currently seing a behavioral health doctor to determine if he has mental issues.

This morning, he again refused to attend school and threatened to kill the Principal and Vice Principal. They informed me to take him and get him help or they would call the police. My first instinct was to take him to the hospital and have him admitted. However, I feel at this time, he does not need to be medicated. So I called the crisis line instead and they sent some people over. They agreed that the hospital was not a good idea as it should only be used if he actually attempted to harm himself or others. Instead, they suggested we invest in a in-home behavioral coach. I don't know what I am going to do at this point. I just need to get him to go to school, do his work, and be a kid. Is that too much to ask for?

And to top it all off, i leave for two weeks in about a week and a half. Still trying to figure out what i am going to do about that.

What a weekend

So, I had drill this past weekend which consisted of getting to the unit at 3am to prepare to bus out to CA to go to the range. my armor goes into the arms room to get our weapons and his passcode to turn off the alarm was not working. He called higher up to see what the problem was to find out he was removed from having access. he was told to lock up and get out or they will send the police. So we did not remove any weapons. i called the 1SG to let him know we were not bringing weapons. An hour and a half later, the police showed up. Luckily we were able to notify the police before they arrived of the situation, which was good because they had already alerted the SWAT team and canines to come out. By us calling, they just sent two patrol cars.

We then get to the range to qualify without weapons. We were told to use other Soldiers weapons to qualify. The problem? The Soldiers had already zeroed, but had not qualified yet so we were told to zero with their weapons without making adjustments to them and then qualify with them. You can not qualify with a weapon that is not zeroed for yourself. Needless to say, half my Soldiers don't know how to do "Kentucky windage" and did not qualify. I did, not as good as I usually do, but I still qualified.

So, that was my weekend. Oh, and then to find out when we go out to the range in March, the 1SG will not be there. So he informed me this past weekend, I will be the acting 1SG for March's drill. Gee, thanks. I hope I am commissioned by then.

What am I going to do?

I know I haven't been on here in quite a while. Between Facebook and daily life, things have to make room. I have been enjoying Facebook a lot as it is a way to communicate with friends and family that I haven't connected with in years. The downside to it is sometimes I am drinking while I am on it and have to go in the next morning to delete some things. School has been keeping me busy as well. Last week I finished Introduction to Film with an A and began my next class I am currently in: American History since 1865. It is interesting so far.

Ahh, the other big thing going on in my life right now: my oldest son. He is 11 years old and just started 6th grade. The school he goes to now, they changed it into a 6-8th grade middle school. So now he cahnges classes and teachers for every class. He also has to change in front of other students for gym class. To some, this never effected you, but I thought that may be what is effecting him. Ever since school started the first week of August, at least twice a week he refuses to go to school. I have been dragging him myself to the school, dropping him off in the Principa'ls office where he continues to throw a tantrum and try to run away for at least two hours. After he is calmed down, they usually have to carry him to his class. Then he is fine the rest of the day.

I took him a few weeks ago to school because he refused to go, where he did end up running away. After searching for him for 30 minutes, I went back to the school and we called the police to report him as a runaway. I then searched another half hour for him. Found him in the backyard and called the police. They showed up and talked to him. Because he admitted to them that he said he wanted to hurt himself, they had to call an ambulance to take him to a hospital to get evaluated. That did no help except increase pay for them. He would not talk to the counselor that showed up and they couldn't determine anything. So we called to set up an appointment with a mental health place. When that day arrived, I get there to check him in and they tell me, 'oh we were just about to call you, the Dr. called out sick today'. Great, now I have to schedule again and wait.

In the mean time, the following week he does the same tantrum thing. Drag him to the school where they call a crisis team. Next thing I know, the mental health place suddenly has him scheduled for two appointments the next two days. Took him to both of those where he would not talk to them. i gave them all the information of what he is doing, saying, when, where, what, family history, etc. All they told me is they don't want to classify him as anything just yet, but they are leaning towards Adjusted Disruptive Behavior Disorder.

I tried googling it and couldn't find it. The closest I came to thinking what it might be is ODD, which I forget what it stands for now. I am even at the point of thinking about putting him in a boarding school. I don't know, I just know I can't afford it. He doesn't have another follow up counselling until November, so I am just hoping this starts to phase out. I don't know what I am going to do.