It has been a while...

Yes, it has been a while, I see. Well I did graduate with my BA in March and graduated Magna Cum Laude. My divorce was final in April and my ex and kids have moved over 300 miles away. Tonight is my last night in my house, the last of my memories. I feel dead inside.

Christmas Eve 2011

Yeah, just not that excited this year. Christmas will be small for all of us as I have had some financial burden these last few months and am scraping by just to keep the bills paid, but then again, aren't we all. I ended up in the hospital this past week due to depression and alcohol and had a crisis team come and take me to a detox center where they prescribed me antidepressants, but I am too broke to pay for the copay. My divorce will be starting at the beginning of the year and a lot of that is depressing as well wondering about how often I will see my kids and if I will be able to survive with what I have left after child support.

On a good note, I begin my final class for school in January. This is the last class I need to graduate and receive my Bachelor's Degree. I guess that is one thing to look forward to. Going to my sister's house tonight for Christmas Eve while the wife and kids go to her mother's. I am hoping I am able to see a special someone today as well, but I am sure that bridge has been too burned to try to cross again.

So, here I am ending this year and beginning a new one along with a new journey. So don't worry if you don't see that much of me as you haven't recently anyways. I am just another statistic and another person on this earth. No one famous or of importance. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year all.

I'm done

Since it has been awhile that I posted, a lot has gone on. I was pulled off the deployment to Afghanistan because I work full time at the unit and they don't have the funds to replace me. Yeah, it does tick me off as it would have helped me out a lot. Tomorrow ends my 2nd to last class before I get my Bachelor's degree and my last class begins in January and I will graduate in February. Back in June, we had an incident with the police and this past Monday we finally had the felony case dismissed. Long story and not getting into it, but we are also looking at putting a lawsuit on the Sheriff's Department. The Internal Affairs is finishing their investigation next week and they will let us know if we have a case. We still have the Misdemeanor case we are fighting from the same incident and we go in at the end of January for that. After we are done with all that, well, we will start a new court case. Divorce. I give up. I'm done. I am tired of the things I do that cause my marriage to always be in shambles. It is my fault, and mine alone. I am giving her everything just so I can be alone. We shall see how this goes. So it may still be awhile again before my next post.

It's been awhile...

Yes, it has. And a lot has been going on. Not that I would post it all here anyways, but those that are close already know my situation. It seems like this stuff just follows me...lol. I have 4 classes left until I graduate and receive my Bachelor's degree in Organizational Management. I will receive it right before I leave. Leave? Yes. I volunteered for another deployment. this time to Afghanistan. that is all i can say for now. no dates, times, or places. Why would i volunteer? several reasons. Finances being the biggest one. I make more deployed than i do here at home. i am falling behind on several bills and just can't make ends meet. this will help me get ahead and hopefully be able to start over when i return. Sometimes i hate this darn laptop. I use the shift key to capitalize and it just doesn't work 85% of the time...screw it. Anyways. Once i do return from my deployment, i am looking to getting out of Az. i know some of my family don't want to hear that or see it happen, but i have my reasons. i am just tired of this place. I am thinking of moving back to IN where there are 4 seasons and rain happens more than 12 days out of the year. True, there are cons for moving as well, but there are cons for every decision we make. It is how you handle those cons and if it is worth the cons you left.

Well, anyways, i am sure no one cares to hear me ramble, let alone read it. but at least i posted something...even if it was nothing.

what happened to my good year?

This year started off good and looked promising. Now it has turned into just like every other year. I am not putting it all out there for anyone to read, but those that know what i am talking about, know what I am talking about. At this current point in time I am dealing with about $75-100K in medical bills, although a majority has been covered by insurance. We lost our state assistance, which doesn't help at this point. Having to go to three different court cases for two different things and I am thinking of filing a lawsuit against two organizations as well. I am tired of being walked all over and my family suffering.

Found out i will be getting mobilized in less than a year heading to Afghanistan. Of course, I will not post actual dates and again, those that know have the information. Looking forward to it as it will help pay off the debt we are in and get us ahead. I do plan on moving upon my return and heading "back where I come from".

I know I don't post on here as much as I used to and, well, thank Facebook for that. I am on that a lot and people that usually read this get the information on my FB page. I will still try to post on here every now and then.

Next weekend I will be heading to CA to attend a Military Ball. Maybe post a picture, but we'll see. Obviously I'm not a big picture poster on this blog.

I am kind of hopeful

Well, today I sent my commander an e-mail that I will be willing to be an alternate for a Platoon SGT that is scheduled to deploy later this year. What this means is if that Platoon SGT cannot go, I will. I have wanted to deploy again for sometime now and feel this is the best time to go again. The commander and I are also looking into if I will still have my job when I return, if i were to go. So now it is just a waiting game on if I will go or not. There may be no chance if there is nothing that will disqualify this other Soldier, but it is just in case they cannot go. But, man, I really want to go. It will help out with a lot financially as well.

The wife and kids are all doing fine. School will be out for the summer for the kids in a couple of weeks. I don't have any place or schools at this time I am aware of to attend, so I am home for awhile. Not much else to write about. I am thinking of going and seeing THOR with the stepfather in a couple of weeks. It looks awesome. I guess we'll see.

I know...you missed me...yeah right

I know I don't post as much as I used to, but get over it. At least I still get on periodically to jot a few things down. I finally had this past weekend off after no days off for five weeks. Between drills and travelling to conferences it was catching up to me. This past Saturday I went and hiked the Flat Iron trail at the Superstition Mountains. We will be doing a road march there in May for drill so I wanted to see how difficult it was. My thighs are still hurting today. It was a tough hike, but I enjoyed it. I think I might start hiking more. I think I have been getting into a health kick lately. I have the warrior dash coming up on the 30th, which is a 5k run with obstacles, and I am already looking at doing the Spartan Race next year in February, which is 8+ miles with obstacles. We'll see.

Still nothing new with the oldest. His appointment is on the 26th for us to find out more. The school he is attending finally switched him over to where after lunch, he goes to middle school as they are trying to slowly reintroduce him back into an average size classroom. They may be switching him back to his original school next year, but we will have to wait for a definite answer. They may have a special program set up at that school by then, but again it also depends on results that come back from different sources.

The middle child made honor roll again. He wants to get involved in a program called Young Marines, which to me looks like Boy Scouts/Military. I am ok with it, but I have to ensure he can attend the first 9 weeks once we enroll him as he cannot miss it. It is like their bootcamp. Yeah, right.

The youngest is doing fine though she is growing up way too fast. The boys have taught her too much and she is starting to wear make up...yeah, thanks Aunt and cousin. She also now knows our house number so her friends are always calling and she is always on the phone. Well, it keeps the bill collectors from bothering us...lol.

Other than that, I guess everything is fine. Watched Little Fockers the other day. A little funny, but not as good as the first. Also watched RED HILL, which was an Australian movie, so it was pretty slow. Maybe pick some movies out tonight, but not sure yet. Well, that's it for now.

Finally getting somewhere...

So, the Dr from the Neurologist that we had our oldest go to finally called to get us the results from the blood test taken about three weeks ago. We were already told the EKG came back normal and most of the blood tests cam back normal. However, there was one test on the bloodwork they need to look at again. So he is being rescheduled for April 26. It appears he may have what is called Sydenham's chorea. Apparently this is a result of what can happen if a strep throat infection is not taken care of. I have researched it a little bit and it does state that it can cause ticks and behavior disorders. With medication it can be taken care of. However, the oldest had not had strep throat at all from what we recall nor had he complained of having a sore throat at all. It could also be PANDAS syndrome, but we will find out more when we take him in, I guess. So much for the house hunting for now. I struggled to keep everything balanced until my credit reached where it needed to be. The closest I got was 3 points away before one of the medical bills slipped and hit the credit report. With that and other bills I tried to manage, my vehicle became 30 days late as well and hit. So bottom line is it will take me several more months to get it all under control again. Not too down about not getting the Direct Commission anymore. Just another curveball for now and I can reapply next year after I have my degree. The benefit is once I do find out if I get it, I will know when I am scheduled for the school and if it is far enough out, I can complete my Master's Degree. Everything happens for a reason I guess, right? Watched a few movies over the past few days. SKYLINE sucked and not worth it. HOW DO YOU KNOW was pretty good but the ending left too many questions unanswered, which tends to ruin the movie for me. LIFE AS WE KNOW IT was a pretty good movie. Let the kids watch TANGLED and YOGI BEAR, but I didn't watch either one of them. THE TOURIST was awesome even if I did call it within 20 minutes of the beginning. It was great to see parts of Venice that I recognized when I was there in December. Don't know when I'll get more movies to watch yet. I have drill this weekend. It seems I have been constantly busy for the last month that I don't even recall when I have actually had a day to rest. Now, next week, my job is wanting to send me to CA for a conference for the weekend. Still haven't got the final word yet. Busy, busy.

Yeah...the year does get gloomier

So, I just found out this morning that I did not make the Direct Commission. Apparently, the regulations had been changed and we were not told. The old regulations stated you needed 60 credits in order to apply, which at the time I had like 80 credits. Now they are saying you need to have your Bachelor's Degree to Direct Commission, which I will not receive until Feb 2012. I am currently at 93 credits, needing 27 more to get my degree. I am not going to double up and put a bind on myself just to try to make it happen faster. My plan right now is to apply for my E-8, Master Sergeant and see if I get that and be able to stay in this unit and keep my job. I am waiting for the Personnel Section to get back to me to see if I can do this. So another waiting game. Just watched THE LINCOLN LAWYER last Thursday. It was a pretty good movie. Trace Adkins had a small role as a biker. Pretty good plot, but kinda slow at parts. I have THE FIGHTER to watch at home tonight. Still trying to get SKYLINE. Thinking about going to see BATTLE:LA or whatever it is called. That's it for now.

More fun than a barrel of monkeys...

Still nothing new to report on anything. Haven't been able to rent some new movies I wish I could see due to finances since the IRS took my tax return. However, I did notice my school sent me a nice check so that may change this weekend. I'll finally be caught up on bills again. I am currently in my 10th to last class, Dependence of Man on the Environment. It is a 4 credit class to where all the others are 3 credits. So far, this is the hardest class I have had with the most homework as well. I still have a 3.80 GPA. All of my classes except 2 were A's. I got a C two classes ago because I didn't do any papers due to my wife being hospitalized and my last class I received a B just because I didn't put too much effort in the course as I have become burnt out on school. This class seems to be going well so far as I enter into week 2. After this class, I only have 9 classes to go before I graduate.

Military life seems to be going ok as well. Still waiting on the results of the Direct Commission. A lot of my time right now is spent on M-F going to work, going home, jumping on FB and playing my games. My computer at home has become so slow, it takes forever to do some of these games. Think I need to upgrade. It is a laptop I bought when I came back from my deployment in 2006. So, yeah, time to upgrade.

Weekends are usually spent at home watching movies, FB'ing, or sitting around since I haven't had funds to do too much. However, in a week and a half I am going to NASCAR for the weekend for the Nationwide and Subway 400. One of my Soldiers offered me to come and hang out in the Miller tent for the weekend on the inside track. Which means I will be in the circle and able to meet the drivers. I've been to a couple of races before, but inside track is going to be more exciting than the other times. I'll also be camping out there for the night. It will be fun.

Kids are doing well with school and haven't had too many problems with the oldest. He returned to school about 3-4 weeks ago and is doing well with it. At home, there aren't as many outbursts as there were in the past. The hardest part right now is just keeping all three of the kids from fighting daily when I get home.

I know, I live an interesting life. A few years ago, I would have a story to tell everyday. Since I moved a few years ago, I do have stories, just not enough to tell one everyday. I think i am finally getting old and not getting as wild and crazy as I used to. I went from drinking daily, spending about $150 a week to drinking maybe every two weeks and spending about $12-$30 a month.

Well, that's all I got for now.